CW: detailed description of public harassment by a visibly mentally ill person, racism, ableism, sanism, police violence Yesterday I woke up deep in a depressive episode. I skipped my second class for the week, a tutorial I still haven’t shown up to it. There was a hopelessness that I’m so familiar with. My body wasn’t … Continue reading When Performing Whiteness Still Can’t Keep You Safe
I have been in a relationship with my partner for a long time. We’re at almost five and a half years. But in that five years there were a couple months we had broken up. My mental health was failing and I couldn’t care for another person. The breakup was messy and painful for both … Continue reading Driving Me Crazy and Keeping Me Sane: This Just Might Be a Love Story
Today is Father’s Day. It’s a day in which we are supposed to appreciate and celebrate fathers. But not everyone has a father, and not everyone has a father who loves them. For those of us who fall in the latter category, today is just another day to dread. There’s nothing sweet or kind about … Continue reading No, I Don’t Want to Hear How Great Your Dad Is, Thanks
Trigger Warnings: This post deals with family death, mental illness, misogyny, and racism.
It’s been nearly two months now. I woke up to a phone call from my mother. At first it seemed normal, and as I’m about to scold my mother for waking me she says something that hits me in my stomach. Continue reading “Missed Chances: Dealing with Death from Afar”
I have a short story in a paper zine form on display at the Our Future Is Queer exhibit. Due to financial reasons, I wasn’t able to print off enough of these zines to allow for visitors to keep. Since the short story has such limited access, I’ve decided to make a digital version available for free. Continue reading Our Future Is Queer: On the Varuna
Today I’ve been struggling a lot. My motivation is low and so is my self-esteem. And the first conversation I had for the day was about food.
There’s some background information on that last sentence which connects it to the rest.
I have an eating disorder. I doubt I’d be medically wrong if I called myself anorexic. But this isn’t something that came from body image issues. I loved my body. I don’t know who I am anymore when I look in the mirror. My clothes hang off me and I hate this shrinking skeleton I’ve become.
If I love food, and I loved my body at my biggest, why do I have an eating disorder?
I was in an uncomfortable situation a few weeks ago, and every time I think about it, all of these hurt and upset feelings come up. I was in a group chat with my partner and his friends. This group chat is predominantly white; I was one of two people of colour in it. We … Continue reading Who Gets To Police Language?